Adjusting to Life

Hi All! So it's been a while since I've been on. Life has happened since. Izzy was jaundiced and had her own tanning bed at home, Christmas Eve, well that was a bizarre day! The time with the relatives went so quickly, and then we went to Ry's to open presents and so that the kids could play! They loved it! And yes Ry's daughter now knows Isabella is her sister. He told her.

Christmas was good. The kids opened gifts at home and well I took them to their dad's and Izzy and I went to Ry's for the day! We watched sports and the the 3 of us took a nap! LOL! We were all so very tired! Then he took her to hold her and take care of her and I cooked our going home from the hospital dinner. It was spaghetti which we laughed about cuz I craved the stuff the first 4 or 5 months of pregnancy and ate it almost every day. I would've made us a dinner but truth is I was lucky to be functioning. The day before I got really sick w/a 104.5 temp and my whole body hurt and I had no idea why. But I managed to somewhat function so everyone could still see her and I wasn't contagious. So Christmas needless to say I was really under the weather. But we still enjoyed it. It was good to hang out and just chill and not expect anything from each other.

I did find out the following day that when she was born the placenta broke and part was left in me. There is some medical term they used but they said I'm lucky I'm still standing cuz that caused everything to malfunction in me, lol! I was given meds and again put on extreme bedrest! Story of my life. In fact I was not release to go back to school.

So, I bet some of you are wondering what is going on with Ry and I now. Well, it's complicated. He does want to be a part of his daughter's life, but he and I started out well, maybe not so good. I was frustrated because we couldn't talk in the hospital without a nurse or hospital interrupting every 2 min. Finally I just started crying out of frustration. I walked away from the hospital having the sick feeling that that was it, he didn't want her. I was shocked when he asked to come see her. I let him. It was good. I was still left in wonder though as I should've been. I was and am very cautious about everything because I've been put through the ringer several times w/him. But we decided for now to be friends. I think that is best cuz neither one of us wants to rush into anything and if things happen then they do, because we were friends not because we have Isabella together. I am just glad he is wanting her in his life as much as possible! I am not that quick to trust though. He'll have to earn that after everything he has put me through. But for now things are OK, good even I suppose.

But Isabella Joy~Leilani is calling to me to change her diaper, so the job of mommy never ends!

Love you all,

Bri