Love, Full Circle!

Vegas was so WONDERFUL! Ryan was the way he was when we first met and even more! He waited and held his hand out for me and wouldn't walk unless we were holding hands! He was always telling me how beautiful I was though I was pregnant and he even took me in his arms when other men looked at me! This is what real love is! I honestly didn't care what we did as long as we were together! This is the man I'd been waiting for! The man I met on the phone a few months back, the man that stole my heart! And I didn't even care that we didn't get married. I was a little bummed but I was just happy being with him! We were a couple once again! And I for the first time in my life really knew now that I could be anywhere and be anything when I was with him! I loved Ryan! And I couldn't wait to have his baby! This is my life! Happy and for the first time, complete!

Off and On Again

Well as time went on, Ryan for some reason decided he could no longer marry me, yet we remained great friends and he was even my best friend. He always gave me hope though saying you never know, someday we may get married! He really broke my heart, yet I loved him enough to continue to be his friend.

Then one day, we saw the baby's heartbeat and he had tears in his eyes and from that day on he was amazing again! He said that he was happy yet again and that he'd call all the time and he'd even tell me I am beautiful daily! He really gave me a new hope and even said you never know we may get married in Vegas! I told him not to tease and that wasn't nice! He said he didn't know! So I was happy once again!

We leave for Vegas tomorrow! I am so excited! I am going with the love of my life!

A moment in time

Wasn't supposed to happen like this
It was just a meeting of the minds
A chance to talk of old times
The weather . . . the stars . . . and our signs.
But today I'm like a schoolgirl . . .
Haven't felt like this in years!
I'm full of smiles and laughter
of sighs . . . and giggles . . . and tears.
Let's hope that after a good night's sleep
I'll come right back to my senses
That the independent me will return
And I'll be back building up my defenses.
But . . . oh . . . for a moment this morning
I did feel young again!
It's just a phase I was going through
Don't want to get attached to a man.
By tomorrow I'll be busy at work again
With memos to write . . . appointments to keep
So thanks for taking the time to visit
It was really nice having you . . . so to speak!

An Unexpected Surprise!

It wasn't long before we both knew we wanted to spend our lives together. Ryan and I even went ring shopping! We has even set the date for Aug. 8, 08. We knew where and what type of wedding we wanted and everything was perfect. . .

Well, a little surprise came our way and I was pregnant! Yes, it was quite a shock but we both wanted another one and he especially was always taking me into the baby section! We both were so excited, though this was definitely not planned! What would our lives be like now? It didn't matter anymore if I had my dream wedding! I had my prince charming and happily ever after! Ryan was everything I'd always dreamed of and he accepted me for me and loved the fact that I was still in college! I love my life!

I'm not sure yet

hi. Just got home from school. long hours these days. anyhow, a bunch of you asked, and I am still not sure if we are getting married in a few weeks or this summer? Either way the real wedding is in Kona on Aug. 8, 08, as I mentioned before. I finally will get my dream wedding! LOL! barefoot on the beach at sunset! Aloha style! There is only one reason we'd get married early. It's complicated. But those who know us know why or have asked. As of now that reason is not completely public. We'll tell in time!

Disneyland and in Love

Ryan came back Friday and from that day on we were pretty much insepratable! March seemed to come very quickly! There was one day we went to the Olive Garden for dinner, and he had asked me how he would know if I was going to break up with him. I assured him that was not going to happen! I didn't know that at the time he was truly in love with me and already told his family he had found the love of his life, ME! We really got each other and laughed together all the time! He was truly a gentleman and a wonderful guy! For the first time in a very long time, I felt same, secure, and at home when I was with him!

So the day finally came for us to leave. We of course had to still pack the car and then pick his daughter up. Turns out she had no shoes on that day. So we stopped at Nordstroms to buy her some. Turns out all 3 of the kids got some! LOL! It took us a day to get there, driving straight through the night. We left March 2 and on the 3rd we arrived. We decided to take them to California Adventure just for the evening! That night we rode the ferris wheel and I realized when we looked into each other's eyes I truly loved him! It was so new and amazing!

It was like we were a family already. When we were getting the kids ready I'd get them ready and clean the room, while he'd pack the car! Then together we'd make our lunches for the day! And when I was showering, he'd get breakfast ready for all 3, including peeling the oranges and breaking them up, then we'd wake them and I'd bathe them and then he'd dress them and they'd eat! And when we came back to the room, we'd both get them ready for bed then he'd unpack the car, while I stayed with the kids and got their clothes ready for the next day. At the parks, we were a team when it came to taking care of them! He was always taking Mikey potty, while I was always taking the girls! We were all so happy and it was like we'd been together forever!

On the way home he said he wanted to tell me something. I already knew but I waited until he told me! Then he told me he loved me very much and was the happiest he'd ever been! So, I told him I loved him too! We kissed and things were right within the world! We knew we were going to be together for a LONG time! I asked when he fell in love with me and he said it was when I was growling with the girls at the bears on our first date! He said I wasn't afraid to be myself and that was what captured his heart! Is there love at first site? Sure! But you need to cultivate it!

It's now June 7, and I decided to add this!

So, were we happy and in love? Yes! We both told each other we wanted to share our lives together and decided to get married! So, when things suddenly ended I was left with a broken heart and in shock and wonder! We were told by all that we were the perfect couple and the perfect family! Even his daughter and my 2 look alike so we blended beautifully! He even told his boss that he found the love of his life and was the happiest he'd ever been! He told everyone!

Still Amazing!

Hi all! I know it's late but I just got home from the hospital. . . The doctors finally found the answers to what was making me so sick these past 6 months. They did every test in the book today. . . I decided after coughing up blood this morning it was time to not leave without the answers. So I am on my way to recovery. It'll take a while but at least I know now. On that note, I have to just say how much I love Ryan! He's been my every thing! He pushes me to do better and makes me want to be a better woman.