The New Me! Lovin Life!

Hi! Can't sleep so thought I'd write quick! So, anyhow, life is good ok. Things could be worse, but they could also be a lot better! At least I have some good friends in these times! I'm just trying to do things peacefully these days. I am so tired of all the drama.

So in that sense. . . The old me (or should I now say? new me?) is back and here to stay! LOL!

Last week, I finally took the steps I needed to, to be a woman again! I am now going out and doing things! I plan on doing a lot more in the coming months!

But the me who kinda gave up on stuff is gone! Now that I lost most of my baby weight, I went out and bought some cute new jeans and tops! It's definitely a new look and a new me! With going back to my beloved blonde hair I knew and loved I now feel a million times better! Not only am I once again confident, cool and collected, but my whole persona has seemed to change. Once again I am that girl whom the teachers say hi to and stop to ask me how it's going, or to tell me how they are. Once again, I'm the girl whom others are coming to for help because I seem to know my stuff. And I can finally say somewhere inside the light finally came on with Physics! LOL! I think I am finally understanding all these laws. With all the math involved it's a wonder, but I am truly getting it!

I have to say, at times, when in weakness, I want to be done with school and maybe just go for a trade such as a hair dresser or something, but then when I am in those science classes and whatnot, when I am struggling to "get it" I think I want to apply all this stuff! Then a light clicks on and I get excited talking with the others about where I'd love to go to Med School. But only God really knows my future. The truth is, there is a man whom has recently caught my attention. He and I talked know each other shall we say well. He asked me about the kids and how all is going. He's been a doll and a sweetie through all of this. He knows how hard it's been, but he hasn't backed down. He hears the joy I have again and knows how much I love the kids and even my little blessing Isabella! I was telling him just last night that when I am stressed and the day has sucked I come home to this grinning, now laughing beautiful baby that just wants mommy. She is playing now and talking up a storm with her squeals of delight! He told me he can tell how much joy she brings me! And so we talk. We talk about his job and how things are. We talk about everything under the sun, from the news to culture to how we'd raise the kids together! LOL! I think he'll be a great dad! No, he's never met the kids. Not yet. I learned the hard way to not let them get involved with any man until he and I are serious to the point of engagement. ONLY then is it truly time to bring them into the equation. I will never let them hurt the way they sometimes still hurt from my last relationship. Besides with the baby, I really have to be cautious! I don't want her around any man who will break her little heart.

But yes, life has great. It is never what I asked for, wanted or expected, but I am me again. The me that way here a year and a few months ago, before I truly lost myself and who I was. Gone are the days of Trying too hard. Because I realized I don't have to. I realized I am worthy of being won over!

I am trying new and fun things like snow shoeing and watching hockey games practically on the ice and sky diving and hiking Mt. Raineer!! This spring I am going white water rafting again! I realized that yes, while I am a mommy first, I need me time. Time to be a woman again, and time to hang with my friends and do the things I love to do and want to try! I was so busy being a mom that I realized I didn't know how to truly be a woman of value! Not until this past week! Sure I may not end up with this guy, but then that's OK. Life is what it is and there is so much more to it than worrying about whether this or that guy likes me! Besides, now that I am doing what I love to do, things are falling into place naturally and I am happy again! I am not so stressed out and it's easier to want to do things and go on new adventures with my children! Some day, God will give me a man to go on life's adventure with and when that time comes Those will truly be the best days of my life! But right now, being me, who I am, who I once was now with a better twist and zeal, these are the best days of my life! I will raise Izzy with the same love as I give my other two! She will be no different! She already is a special blessing and joy in my life! And any person who cant see how wonderful she is, is missing out! Just spending a half an hour with her changes your whole day because her smiles are priceless! Soon, she'll be getting her first tooth, and walking and talking and saying "I love you!" Those days are close by! In fact I measured her just yesterday and she is now 2 feet tall! LOL! she sure is growing fast! The doctors say her height is in the 90%! But she is still so petite! Mike is now 47'' and Lexi finally made the 42" mark! We tease her that Izzy will out grow her by a year!

So that's life! My life! I must go as I get up in a few short hours and have Physics again!

Oh and Izzy is being dedicated this Sat. at 6 in Tacoma! If you want to come, feel free to ask for more details!

Lovin Life,

Bri