Still Smiling Beyond the Pain

This past week I truly thought there was absolutely no more surprises that would happen that would shock me. When you think you’ve hit bottom, there’s always lower, trust me, I now know! After some of the things I have encountered this past week, I realized that the one thing that can and always makes me smile is the baby. Her smile just brightens my whole day! And tonight as she was crying, looking deep into my eyes almost searching them for safety, she found a peace and a love and would not look away! She had that look that said please don’t abandon me mom. She knows I’m it. She doesn’t know what a dad is. So, as she held my finger with her tiny hand I whispered to her, Baby Bella, Mommy will NEVER leave you! I love you so much, you are my lil sunshine! She quieted right down and I began to sing her favorite song, Oh be Careful Little Eye What You See. She cooed and started to smile! Then I sang her the song I just recently wrote for her! MY Beautiful Baby Bella! So, any how, that's the life these days.

Yes, I have seen a point this past week where I should hate life and just be this angry person inside, hateful and full of spite. And yet I still smile because I have this joy that tells me everything is about to change and it's going to be more than OK! That what I thought was good is no where near what God is about to bless me with! MAybe I was way to trusting and naive! That's what I am being told these days! But you know what? At the end of the day when I fall asleep and look over to see that precious baby girl laying there with a smile on her face, I really didn't loose anything! I won! And she's my blessing! God knew how hard these days were going to be on me and yet with her here, nothing that I've encountered has completely torn me apart or shocked me. It has shocked some of the people that do know, and they all shale their heads, but to me, it seems that somehow, it'll work out and be OK!

So with that I must go!

Take Care all!

Still Smiling Beyond the Pain!

Bri