Lovin Life : )

Hi! These past few days have been amazing! Sigh. . . . Life is good right now. . . do I need to say more of specify? Izzy is doing well, and well Ryan and I are slowly becoming good friends again! : ) That makes me so happy! I know, I know, I won't get my hopes up, but life is as it should be right now. . . Actually no I take that back if we worked things out, then life would be as it should be. But for now, I am loving life.

School is good. Actually it's great! Very hard though! It's going to consist of more homework than I ever imagined possible! Anyhow, I can write more later, but I am throughly exhausted! I only had 3 hours of sleep before I had to get up for school! But last night was well worth it! I'd never it trade it for anything! I haven't laughed and smiled like that in ages!

Lovin life! : )

Indifferent

Hi all! Not much has changed. I'll be 25 weeks in 2 days, and that is better than the 24 weeks that I am currently.

Izzy isn't moving as much, but I have been to busy to really pay attention, because of school. As far as Ryan and I go. . . Well same o, same o. I don't think things will ever change. I wish they would, as I still love him, but what do I expect these days? Nothing any longer. When someone says they need time to figure everything out and then are kissing another woman a week later, what am I supposed to think/feel? Yes my heart broke yet again. I just wish Izzy was here and that I knew what I am to do.

I have come to the thoughts this weekend, as I told my best friend, that if we don't end up together, and if he is still with other women, I will walk away permanently with Izzy. I won't be able to bear seeing him with other women, and I DON'T want my daughter knowing any other woman. Is that wrong? Who knows. All I have to say is that if you're not married don't get pregnant. Seriously. All you end up with is heartbreak. And it's not fair to the child. What am I supposed to tell Izzy? That her dad walked away because he'd rather have been with another woman than his own daughter? HMM. . . That is going to break my heart when I have to tell her why daddy is never around.

So that's the life. As sucky as it is, it's what's real these days.

Indifferent,

Bri

Life is Awesome!

I just have to say that I am extremely happy! Life is good! Maybe I'll write about it later! And yes, tomorrow I will write about MIkey's first day of school!

HMMM! All I can say is tonight I will fall asleep with a big smile on my face!

XOXO

Life is Interesting, Nothing Ever Stays the Same!

School is interesting, men are interesting, children are interesting and well life in general is interesting! That's all I have to say!

Besides that, I have a TON of homework due, and well being in the hospital last night (long story yet again, cuz my midwife sent me there cuz she thought i'd have to deliver.) I lost valuable study time. I would like to try and stay in the top 5 of my class, but with life happening we shall see! As my philosophy teacher said today, life happens, and we can never count on things to stay the same!

Well, to be honest, I'd like something to remain the same! LOL! Not sure what but everything seems to always change! Well, maybe I'll have to wait for 7 years and have my medical degree before I see some kind of normality! LOL! Even then most patients are NOT normal! LOL!

The only thing that is constantly the same is that the daddy of Isabella is no longer in the picture. And we will never get back together. HMMM. . . . Not sure I wanted that to stay the same! But God knows best.

OK, enough ramblings, gotta run! Besides, I've been working on my book that I am writing. That's why I am not on here often.

Have a smiley day!

Bri

Made the 24 Week Mark

BTW, I made it to 24 weeks! That is a miracle and praise God! So, if I deliver as of now they have a chance of saving our little Isabella!

I do love her so!

Thought I'd share the joy before heading to bed! Happy thoughts!

Final Thoughts on the Closed Case

Hi! So, I am exhausted as usual! But what's new? LOL! Anyhow, looking back on the decisions I did make, I am so glad that things with David really are over. Yes, while it was nice to be treated like a woman of value he also looked down upon those who weren't making money like him. When I said that I was debating on just getting my nursing degree, he said so you're only going to be just a a nurse. He looked down upon that. He also didn't want Ryan in any part of Izzy's life. While Ryan and I may not be talking, who knows what's going on, he still has the right to see her if he wants to.

Well actually I am really torn. Yes, David is right and Ryan may have have a ton of woman around. And I don't want Izzy around all of them. So, I am torn. What am I supposed to do? I want him in her life but only if he cleans it up.

I am so torn about what to do. Well at least time will tell. As David says. I have 3 and 1/2 months max to see what he will decide. But that does not mean I will wait around for him.

School is good. Philosophy may be cool or boring. I am not sure yet. I couldn't really concentrate because the guy who sat down next to me reeked of cigarette smoke and pot! My did I have a headache! : (

Well, I am going to go lay down. I will write later if there is something on my mind. Tomorrow I have a very long day! I have chem and bio back to back, with both of their labs and discussions! Yawn! I have classes from 8-5! Only an hour break! HMMM! Will I survive? With this baby determined to come early, we shall see. I am not sure how I will be able to handle her being in the neonatal unit and studying. I will be so overwhelmed and exhausted. I am not even sure Ryan will be around for it!

And yes, I do believe that in time, God's time that I will once again be happy and finally be with a man of my dreams! I may not have even met him yet! LOL! OH Well!

So, good night for now!

Bri

The final decision has been made!

Hi. Last Saturday I went out with David. We went to an Indian restaurant. The food was good, but the conversation was lacking. I realized I no longer wished to see him. I need someone more down to earth and family oriented! Even though Ryan and I aren't together, he's still more my type. Besides David didn't want him in the picture with our daughter! He even wanted to change her name!

Yes, I also saw Ryan. He and I talked and hung out for a bit. It was great seeing him again! I know that we won't end up together, but O still want to remain friends with him.

Maybe all this happened for a reason. I am starting school again and don't need the distraction. Also the fact that David didn't believe in Jesus, well that was just too big of a difference! I want to raise my children in Christ and if that means doing it as a single mother, I will. So my decision has been made! It may have taken all summer but in the end we were walking in 2 completely different worlds! Mine is simple and family oriented. David's was too complex and career oriented! While I have no idea where Ryan will end up he and I are in the same type of world! He is a dad already. Well that is the end of the 2 men saga.