Giving Izzy Up

Not much going on. Just frustrated with things. Nothing I want to talk about. It's just too much going on. I was put on extreme bed rest but that's not going to happen. Yes, Izzy doesn't have a chance. Not these days. Because of the stress and I literally have not been able to rest at all the doctors said I won't be able to keep her in. I'm lucky to sit down these days! I am tempted to go back to school against docs orders just so I can sit down. School is WAY less stressful than this!

And Ry and I are no longer talking. His choice. He wants someone new. I have pretty much given up. He wants full custody or nothing. And well Isabella isn't really wanted these days by many people. I love and want her, but I'm not sure that is enough now. I mean is it enough only for me to love her when the rest of the household won't? I can't do that to my baby girl. I can't let her live in a house when she will feel the unacceptance. So, what am I supposed to do? Honestly. For the first time, I told Ry that maybe she is better off with him after all! And maybe she is! She needs to be where she is most loved and accpeted.

I give up these days. I guess that is life. Ry said everything will work out. But he meant for him. I guess he's right. It'll all work out. He may get the second child he wants with no commitments. And I am left with a broken heart and a daughter I'll never know.

In Tears,

Bri