Oh, I found today that I have lost more weight over the weekend! I actually have not gain any weight but have lost it now. Izzy has gained some but they are extremely worried. It's because of all the stress, heartache, etc. that I have been so sick. This is NOT something that I really want to share with others. But my blood count has dropped again. I was given a form for an imediate blood transfusion because they think I will need it. I have NOT chosen to accept it however. I still am not certain I want to. You may think this is stupid, but I also was told because I am sick, with everything and Crohne's Disease that my body most likely will reject them. I may hemorage on the table when Izzy is born. So yes, I am actually terrified. I feel so alone in all of this. I also have to sign a form saying if anything happens whom to save, me or the baby. Well as I see it, Izzy has a better chance than I do. So I have already given Ryan my word that I will save hers. When everything was broken down and gone over with me, I realized that the reality is that Izzy is much easier to save than I. I also know that even though Ry does not want me, that he'll be a great father to her. I just hope that his family will accept her. Anyhow, that's it for now. . . I guess everything is ultimately in God's hands, including the days of our lives!
So Alone,
Bri
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