A Close Call for Birth

Hi all! Last night was not a fun night! I went into active labor. I was contracting every minute to 4 minutes and they were lasting up to 90 or so seconds. After doing this for over an hour and a half my OB said to come into the hospital because they didn't want me having Isabella at home. After trying to get a hold of Ryan (which never happened) they decided to postpone it. They said there were too many complications at this point for baby izzy to be born. (I also did not want to do this without him regardless of things.) But I suppose if there is another repeat of last night and my water breaks he will not be there for the birth of his daughter. I have to be honest and say I will be very angry if he doesn't show up, and I am not sure I'll be able to forgive him for that. I told him I don't want any excuses as to why he's not there. Regardless that we are no longer together, this is his daughter! So, I was given 4 shots to hold Izzy in and stop contractions.

Because I am going natural until I have to have the c-section, I was in a lot of pain, but if I knew that I had him there to support me I could make it happen! Well that was my exciting night. I am exhausted with no sleep and the medicine wore off so the contractions are back! Sigh. . . Every day she stays in though is a better chance of survival for her. I was told last night because of things her chances are only 50-60%. That really scared me. So, I am praying Izzy stays put for now! I don't know if I could handle it if she died or something awful happened to her. Tomorrow she'll be 29 weeks. They want me to make it to at least 30 now because of the risks. But here's the sad things. If Ryan has his other daughter on the week that Izzy is born, he'll not only miss it, but he won't even see her for over a week. So, I pretty much have to try and keep her in every other week. But unfortunately nature plays a different tune and she'll come regardless. So I have to plan on having her alone. Even when he doesn't have her, he may not show, like last night. : ( I tried for over 6 hours to get a hold of him. I told him at 10 I was going in and I gave up trying to get a hold of him at 4. So much for be reliable. : ( That's all I am writing for now.

Scared and Alone,

Bri