Thursday, October 18, 2007

Tell me the truth

This has been one emotional day! GEEZ! At this rate, I want to just have Izzy and be done with this whole nightmare. As of now, I will be having her alone. It's best this way anyhow. I got myself into this mess, so I should and want to do it alone. I don't want any sympathy or help. I honestly don't know what I will even do with her now.

Yes, I was stupid. Yes I screwed things up. And yes, I really do deserve this. So, if anyone else truly has anything else they want to say to me, about how much of a screw-up I am or that I am a bad person or selfish, heartless and self-centered, say it now. Don't just sit there and think these things to yourself, tell me. Trust me after today whatever you have to say won't come as a shock. Apparently "anonymous" thinks all these things too. What do I really know? Nothing. I thought I did and could do it. I thought I could have her and be a good mom to my children. But if I am so fake then there really is nothing left to be honest. So, instead of talking about me behind my back and having me find out anyhow just tell me to my face. If you have a lot to say, just say it. Just be honest with me.

I have an ultrasound tomorrow to see if she is even still alive, since there has been no movement. All I care is that she is healthy at this point. Don't ask me what will come of her. I don't even know any longer.

Bri

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