A Date with substance

Hi All! So I am really glad I went on this date! Let me tell ya, I was so nervous! But alas I straightened my hair, did my makeup and put on some nice jeans and cute blue dressy haltertop with black heals and beautiful gold dangly earrings. I didn't even look pregnant and I am now 4 1/2 months pregnant!

He wanted to take me to a nice, expensive restaurant. So, I suggested the Ram on Ruston he said NO! LOL! He said some where more expensive. So I suggested CI Shenanigans and he said that'd be great. So he made reservations for 8 and I showed up first so they seated me. I was so nervous. I had never really dated someone who was well established. By that I mean who actually has a graduate degree. He has his own private practice and offices in Seattle, Tacoma and now is buying in Everett. So, he showed up and we talked for a bit. Then we ordered and the food was wonderful! I loved it! We then ordered dessert and shared it and talked until 11. It was so amazing because I mean we really talked. Talked about life, careers, education, etc. For once it was actually two adults talking! There were no walls or no trying to be something we weren't. It was surreal. Then he said I was unlike any other woman he had ever dated. That I was so different. I asked how so and he said that I was pure and innocent almost as if I were from the 50s! LOL! I laughed and said, so my title should be June Cleaver with an education! He laughed too! He said he loved my sense of humor! But what he meant was it's so refreshing to meet me, because I was so refined and he could tell I was really passionate and genuinely cared about others. He said he won't even date someone that doesn't have a graduate degree but knew that I was worth so much more and knew I was pursuing it! He said I was rare and a woman with grace and confidence that stood out! He told me that I really challenged him as a person and asked tough questions that were more than surface deep. He is extremely intelligent and was top in his law class and undergrad school. And I even make him laugh!

So, anyhow, we finally left around 11 and went to a nice grill type bar on Broadway and sat and talked there. We talked about the best of movies and art, and of course the original classics and foreign films! Then he asked me about Ryan. He wanted to know why it ended. I said because he said he thinks he's in love with his ex. He asked me if I had anything bad to say and I said no. I don't like talking bad about people. So he asked if I loved him and I said there was a time we both really loved each other. I said Ryan fell in love with me on our first date, but yes I still loved him and probably always would. I said it's kind of like Jonathan. He was the first real love of my life and I will always love him but he's in the past and I let him go. He told me it was Ryan's loss and that he was really stupid for letting me go. He said I will make a great wife, mom and is just one of those women you don't let go! He said Ryan will regret it when some other man is raising his baby and teaching it sports, etc. We laughed a lot together and talked about how it was nice to go out with someone that could talk about more than the weather!

We finally left around 2AM and he took me to see his new office which is cool with a water view, and then he drove me back to my car. It was so nice because he paid for everything and opened all the doors even the car door every time! He is an athlete as well! It was so nice because he even told me I was beautiful! And he was pretty handsome. I said I must be a snob as well because I only date guys I find attractive. I said if that's not there, then we can only be friends. He said he's the same way.

So anyhow, he walked me to my door. And we talked for a few and then he gently pulled me towards him for a kiss. Then he kissed me again and then he told me, I'm going to kiss you again! I realized though how much I wanted to be kissing Ry and all I could see was Ry, so I said I should go, it was now raining and well I was tired and knew the kids would be up early. So he kissed me again and told me he wanted to see me again soon and often. Then I got in my car and headed home.

As I headed home, I realized it was an amazing date, and if I wasn't still in love with Ryan, it would've been wonderful. I thought though, When we kissed there was no passion, not the way Ryan kissed me. Every time Ryan kissed me, he took my breath away and gave me butterflies even from our first kiss. My mom thinks it's because I am in love with Ryan is the reason as to why I didn't feel anything and to give it time and to continue to date him. She thinks he's gorgeous! So, I will probably see him again.

He's different from Ryan in every way possible that you can imagine! He actually reminds me exactly of Jonathan. He's so refined, and well rounded and there's so much to talk to them about. That's how it was when I talked with Jon. We always had things to talk about and no matter what was going on with each other we could talk to each other without judgment and we just got one another. Even when we didn't agree or were upset we always talked. Jonathan and Ryan were so different. It was actually weird that I ended up with Ryan and falling in love with him. But for some reason I fell in love with Ryan. Maybe it was just our chemistry, but it happened, nonetheless.

It's was great being treated like a woman. I mean a real woman. Not a mom, but me as a woman. So, this is what it must be like to date men of class and that is refined. It's actually nice being treated with respect and class. I'm not use to men treating me like a woman, like a person of value and whatnot! I am glad he thinks I challenge him. I am glad that he thinks that I am worth more than the way I've been treated. it's so nice and refreshing, not having to worry about getting my heart broken because I am afraid that he doesn't know if he's coming or going and when he becomes afraid of loving me thinks he loves his ex, even though he told me that I was the one woman that made him feel different and challenged him as well. That was Ryan. He told me he loved me for who I was and then pushed me away. I don't think David will do that. He KNOWS what he wants and is looking for. He's very sophisticated! Well, thus the first date. I suppose I am willing to give it a chance. Maybe in time things will change.

It's just hard being pregnant with Ryan's baby. So, of course I want our family whole. But maybe this guy will be able to do the things with the kids that Ryan never would.

So many questions. . . Only time will tell. In a perfect world though, I still want to be married to Ryan. But, I don't see this happening.

Better run. . . I have kids to tend to. Back to being a mom!